12
Apr 2012
Top Ten: Unassuming Powerhouses
There's a lot to be said for modesty - particularly in the automotive world.
When there are a great number of all-talk-and-no-trousers, spoiler-clad slowpoke models floating around these days, it's always refreshing to stumble on a secret athlete or two. We're talking about the wolves in sheep's clothing - the Usain Bolts in fat suits, if you will.
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We're not interested in things with badges like VXR or RS on the back - they're far too showy for our tastes, and do rather give the game away. No, we're looking for the real unassuming types - the kinds of models even a proper car bore wouldn't give a second glance.
So, using our magic top-ten calculator (and a degree of judgement), we've come up with the top ten most unassumingly powerful cars on sale today - and just to keep things fair since Mercedes, Audi and BMW badges are a bit of a giveaway too, none of them are German. Well, sort of.
# 10 - Citroen C5 3.0HDI V6 Exclusive
Ok, so at 7.7 seconds to 62mph it's not that quick, but seeing 16ft of wafty French diesel keep up with a top-end Mazda MX-5 is worth a mention in our books. What's more, in this trim level the C5 looks about as racy as Ely Cathedral, so we think it deserves a mention at the very least.
Good effort Citroen, good effort.
0-62: 7.7 seconds
Top Speed: 151mph
Power: 237bhp
#9 - Subaru Outback 3.6
Subaru's Legacy may have sucked up some of the Impreza's sporting pedigree, but the Outback most certainly hasn't. With the looks of a farm-come-school-run special, the Outback 3.6's performance comes as a bit of a shock - 0-62 in 7.5 seconds isn't miles away from the average Audi TT, and that's certainly something you can't say of many plastic-clad pseudo-SUVs.
Admittedly a couple of Audi's Allroad models will beat the Scooby on acceleration, but that'd be cheating, wouldn't it. For all-out invisibility, we'd go for this.
0-62: 7.5 seconds
Top Speed: 140mph
Power: 256bhp
#8 - Skoda Octavia vRS
Now before you make a fuss, we know - it's got a performance badge stuck on the back. But, we think the current Octavia vRS is conservative enough to sneak under the radar - particularly in a bland colour. As you probably know, Skoda have popped the Golf GTI's 2.0-litre unit under the bonnet, and 0-62 figures are appropriately tasty - 7.2 seconds, to be exact.
We'd prefered the estate, mind - comes without the silly boot spoiler. And avoid bright green or blue if y'knows what's good for 'yuhs.
0-62: 7.3 seconds
Top Speed: 149mph
Power: 197bhp
#7 - Vauxhall Insignia 2.8V6 Elite
We know, we know - the VXR model equipped with the same engine is quicker; but have you seen it? Vauxhall's performance division has never exactly been the height of discretion, and the Insignia trim level they breathed on is no exception - managing to come off with all the stealth and tact of a clown at a dinner party. No, we'd rather have the 2.8 Elite instead - it misses out on some of the VXR's brutal acceleration, but 0-60 in 6.7 seconds certainly isn't shabby.
Paint it brown and bypass the optional giant alloys, if you wouldn't mind.
0-62: 6.7 seconds
Top Speed: 155mph
Power: 256bhp
#6 - Skoda Superb 3.6 4x4
What's this - a Skoda quicker than the vRS? Surely not. We've no idea how, but the top-end Superb will get to 62mph in a faintly ridiculous 6.6 seconds - faster than a Mini Cooper S, no less. Just look at it, too - not a spoiler or sporty alloy wheel in sight.
If we'd ordered this list on sheer stealth appeal alone, this may well have made it to the top of the list.
0-62: 6.6 seconds
Top Speed: 153mph
Power: 256bhp
#5 - Volvo S/V60 T6 SE Lux
There was bound to be a Volvo in this list somewhere. Being a brand loved by traffic cops, we had a feeling we'd find a quick car lurking in Volvo's everyday trim levels somewhere. With a 0-62 time of 6.2 seconds - that's quicker than a RenaultSport Clio, if you're interested - the V60 T6 is about as humble a 300bhp car as you'll find, in all likelihood.
Just avoid the R-Design trim, would you? Might look prettier, but those alloys and racy body kit are a bit... blatant.
0-62: 5.9 seconds
Top Speed: 155mph
Power: 304bhp
#4 - Infiniti G37
Infiniti what? Unless you've been paying attention - or are American - you could be forgiven for not having the faintest idea who Infiniti are. That's part of the beauty of the G37: with 0-62 in 5.9 seconds it's rather quick, but nobody will have a clue. Unless the brochure has encouraged you into some shiny-shiny chromed alloys, anyway.
Paint it black, stay away from the options list.
0-62: 5.9 seconds
Top Speed: 155mph
Power: 320bhp
#3 - Lexus GS450h
It's not really a huge surprise that Lexus are capable of making quick cars; at least it isn't anymore. Models like the IS-F haven't helped, but being a premium manufacturer does rather make things a little obvious. We've found a loophole though - it's a hybrid. That's right, it loves the planet, and it's also rather quick - 5.9 seconds is the magic number, meaning it'll out-accelerate a base-spec Lotus Elise.
Not bad at all, given that it shares some DNA with the Prius. Just bypass the F-Sport - it comes complete with a 'sporty' bodykit.
0-62: 5.9 seconds
Top Speed: 155mph
Power: 340bhp
#2 - Infiniti M35h
That's right, another Infiniti! And another hybrid! Crikey, we could get along with this climate change business. Infiniti's GS450h rival just manages to beat it to 62mph, hitting the figure at a rather impressive 5.5 seconds. That's quicker than the average Porsche Boxster, which is handy to know when you're sizing up competition at the traffic lights.
0-62: 5.5 seconds
Top Speed: 151mph
Power: 364bhp
#1 - Audi A8 W12
Ok so we've cheated, but the allure of a W12 engine - that's 12 cylinders if you hadn't worked it out - sitting in a car with the looks of an oversized VW Passat was just too tempting for us. Admittedly it's only available in the long-wheelbase A8 - a vehicle which would have difficulty fitting into the average shipyard - but size aside you really wouldn't give it a second glance against any other Audi saloon. 62mph in under five seconds secures the W12-engined A8 at the top of our list, while a terrifying 500bhp will quickly ruin the ego of any passing 911.
A well deserved podium finish, in our eyes.
0-62: 4.7 seconds
Top Speed: 155mph
Power: 500bhp