The Jaguar XKR, by rights, shouldn't exist. It's the stuff of fantasy, with an aggressive supercharged 5-litre V8 engine and curves that would make J-Lo blush.
But there it was, gleaming in the morning sunlight at Oulton Park race course, with Jaguar urging MotorTorque to push the car to its limits.
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How could we say no?
I could see how stupid my grin was in the XKR's glistening 20-inch Nevis alloys. Putting my Penfold glasses on after strapping on my L-sized helmet to accommodate my fat head, I got in the driver's seat and accustomed myself to the car's gorgeous suedecloth premium headlining.
Here is a video showing some of the otther cars Motortorque drove on the track day.
When strapped in, revving the engine gave me the same giddy, stomach-spinning feeling I get on a rollercoaster. The seat sealed me in - I knew I was about to embark on a death-defying thrill.
And what better place to drive it than on one of the nation's finest race tracks? Once settled in I gave the slightest of taps on the accelerator to pull myself out of the pitstop and join the track.
Nothing prepares you for that initial roar from the engine that lets you know you've tamed the beast and its power is in your hands.
I had to be very, very careful on the initial stretch. Not through any fault of the XKR, but because it took me a few seconds to adjust to the sensitivity of the pedals. The car's Active Differential system puts the XKR firmly at your command to the extent that you may as well be playing a driving game on the Wii.
Conscious that the XKR could hit 60mph in 4.6 seconds, I didn't want to do a Mr. Bean and plunge my foot through the accelerator, taking out half the staff working at the Oulton Park cafe. So, like a pansy, I gingerly maintained 40mph until my first corner, before gathering momentum.
"Brake, turn then accelerate," was a constant reminder at every corner from the instructor at my side, but as simple and as basic as it sounds, I had to constantly remind myself that I was more Lewis Hamilton now than Hyacinth Bucket's long-suffering husband behind the wheel.
My last drive was a Hyundai i10. I had to forget everything I knew and adopt the brain of a (not very good) F1 driver.
Once I got a grip on the power at my disposal then I could fully appreciate it, master it and fly around corners with the instructor clinging to the passenger seat for dear life until he politely asked me to apply some brake.
It's easy to lose yourself in the fantasy of the XKR. The track at Oulton was made for it, giving me enough room to push the engine and test the other features that complemented the car.
Steering is incredibly tight and responsive at high speeds, with its strong performance braking system able to instantly put the dampers on when going overboard on straights.
The interior is dripping with phenomenal equipment. The chilly morning air lost its duel with the heated front seats, while the aluminium finish is very pleasing to the eye.
I was waiting for someone to snap their fingers in front of my face, wake up and discover I was in a Morris Minor at the traffic lights. But, thankfully, it never came.
The XKR takes all the best features of the XK and gives it a Frankenstein's monster of an engine. It's an entirely different level of driving built for the Bransons and Sugars of the world.
I filled my pants with fear when I got out and the race team ushered me toward an XKR-S...
Written by John Meadowcroft